So I haven't updated in a while. My apologies. But if I come back, at least I'm bearing interesting news.
Guess who's pregnant?
I am not counting on anything yet. Based on how they calculate things, I'm only just six weeks pregnant, and at my age that's way too early to get excited. My odds are still terrible. I've told some friends, and my parents, but no one is allowed to tell anyone else until (and if) I hit at least eleven weeks. (Assuming my belly doesn't give me away sooner.) I won't feel safe until then. I probably won't feel all that safe then, but at least it'll be closer to safe.
The odds of success on my first IVF, at my age, were absolutely miniscule (and, as noted above, continue to be not great), and I am weirded out by the fact that it worked at all. I am a statistical anomaly of epic proportions. Should this go all the way, I am going to make my clinic's SART stats look gooood.
I think the absolute improbability of this is contributing to the fact that I don't feel all glowy and happy and full of loooove the way pregnant women are supposed to feel. I'm mostly crabby, actually, which then leads to me feeling guilty and ungrateful, and then that leads to buying a pumpkin scone from Star.bucks.
There are women, single and married, who have tried over and over-- IUI, IVF, everything else-- who can't get it to work. I go in once, take my one shot before I lose insurance coverage, and... huh? I should be more grateful. And I know I'll get there, should I need to get there. But until then, I'm looking at this with skeptical optimism.
Massive statistical improbability. That's me.
At least I'm not barfy. That's something.
So. Anything new with YOU?