I did not realize until I looked in my Google Reader feed that I had not updated since August. I really have very good intentions; this was not an on-purpose abandonment. And it's not like I'm never online, for goodness' sake; I'm online most nights after Elle goes to bed. This simply hasn't become part of my daily online routine, for whatever reason.
I'm on other online platforms where I'm active and regularly interact with others, and this journal just isn't part of that. I have to consider that the universe might be trying to tell me something. If I decide to stop, at least I can archive/save my posts here, so it's not like I'll lose the content.
Not really ready to make that decision today, but clearly it's something I need to consider.
So, what's new since August? Well, I have a two and a half-year-old Elle blazing a trail through life. And blazing she is; she is smart and opinionated and bossy and sassy and wants to do everything, right now. In other words, a pretty typical toddler.
She's off the charts verbally; she's been speaking in complete sentences for longer than I can remember, and uses mutisyllabic words in their appropriate context all the time. ("Spectacular" was her word last week.) People regularly think she's about a year older than she is based on how well she speaks. "Mommy, you crack me up!" is one of my favorites. She also is ALREADY bargaining about why she doesn't need to nap: "I can only sleep when the stars are out!" is the current rationale.
If she was a year older, though, hopefully she'd be potty trained-- something she has absolutely NO interest in. Zero. Zip. Nada. And as I have already learned with a hundred other things, there's no point in forcing; it ain't never gonna fly.
One day, underwear or M&Ms or something is going to matter enough to Elle that she'll engage. Until then, I keep the potty seats around, we read books, I ask her if she wants to sit on the potty-- and that's it. Pushing it will only make it a battle, and there's no point in that.
She's really fighting her naps right now. Based on my extensive research ("extensive research" = "messing around on Google") she really still needs the nap, and I should just keep putting her down. Our pediatrician agrees. The problem with no naps, during the week at least, is that by the time I pick her up she's exhausted, is a meltdown machine, and then goes down earlier than she used to so we have little time together after work. While I don't mind an evening to myself occasionally, it means our weeknights have been pretty short lately.
And then, of course, on the weekends I still really need her to nap! I get an awful lot done during that time. I have no problem leaving her in her crib for a while-- she's perfectly happy there with her stuffed animals-- but I don't really relax when she's not sleeping, so I'm exhausted by the end of the day as well.
This too shall pass, I know. Just like everything else. And she's eating like a horse lately, so perhaps the no nap/big appetite is something developmental.
In terms of non-Mommy stuff, I've finally dropped a few pounds and feel a million times better. I firmly believe that one can be healthy at (almost) any size, but I personally feel better within a certain range (and don't need to buy all new clothing), so it's good for me to stay there. FYI, that range is not what all the fancy charts and graphs tell me I "should" weigh-- but it's the range where I function better, where I'm not so tired after going up stairs, where my knees don't ache, where I feel a little more confident about myself. (The charts can go to hell. If I weighed what the charts told me to weigh, I wouldn't have a curve left on my body and I'd only be able to eat about four times a week to maintain it. Sorry, not interested.)
I have a few pounds to go before I'm solidly within my own personal range, but I'm far closer than I was two months ago, and that's worth celebrating.
I'm trying to exercise, and read more, and am enjoying some trashy television shows. Life as a single parent isn't glamorous, but it's pretty okay.