A friend just visited-- another single mom. Her daughter is just over two years old, and a very busy bundle of curls and curiosity. It was good to catch up with her, and she got in her baby-holding quota. (No one wants to put a sleeping baby in their crib except their parent! Everyone else wants to hold them. It's hilarious.)
She asked me a question that's gotten me thinking: how is being a parent different than I expected?
I tend to be fairly verbal, but I didn't have a quick answer for this. My reply, eventually, was that right now it's pretty much what I thought it would be. I always expected the first six weeks or so to be fairly overwhelming full-time infant care. I expected to enjoy it, mostly. I expected to love kissing my daughter's head, or to get a kick out of giving her a bath. I expected to feel a little cut off from reality. I expected all of this, and it came true.
I guess what I didn't expect was that I'd find tiny little things absolutely fascinating and endearing-- how her eyebrows raise in surprise when she finds a food source, how her hands constantly move around like little butterfly wings, how she is not fond of loud noises or direct sunlight. These are not particularly revolutionary things, yet I note and remember them as if they're the most important facts ever. They are, in a way.
I also didn't believe how enormous this experience would be. You know intellectually that everything changes when you become a parent; it's different when it's no longer an intellectual exercise.
It's entirely, overwhelmingly different.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Maintenance and quick update
Alert readers may note I've added a tag: "Elle." That is not my daughter's name, FYI, but it's what I'll call her here, and how I'll tag posts involving her. And alert readers who know me in RL may figure out why I chose that as her online name. :)
Miss Elle is napping at the moment; I'm going to go wake her up as soon as I hit post. It's after 6:30, after all, and if she sleeps much longer it will be a loooong night. And while she's had some catnaps today, her mother has not, and will need whatever sleep she (I) can get.
She's such a joy-- today was, largely, a very smile-y day for her. She's still not smiling at me, really, but when you look at a little month-old smiling face it doesn't really matter that she has gas. It's just a total delight to see her smile. On a face that tiny, the smile takes up most of the real estate, and I just want to kiss her little cheeks.
Of course, when she's not smiling, she's struggling with gas. Poor baby girl. You spend a lot of time worried about bodily functions with kids, I've realized, and watching her turn bright red in order to burp just breaks my heart. Her pediatrician visit is next week and while I'm fairly sure this is normal and not reflux, I'm going to make sure I talk with the ped about it to see if it is reflux, or if there's anything we can do to help. (I'm already feeding her while she's upright, burping her frequently and feeding smaller quantities at one time, keeping her upright after feedings-- all the stuff the intarwebs tell you to do.)
Tiny smiling babies shouldn't have to be in pain. I'm just sayin'.
Miss Elle is napping at the moment; I'm going to go wake her up as soon as I hit post. It's after 6:30, after all, and if she sleeps much longer it will be a loooong night. And while she's had some catnaps today, her mother has not, and will need whatever sleep she (I) can get.
She's such a joy-- today was, largely, a very smile-y day for her. She's still not smiling at me, really, but when you look at a little month-old smiling face it doesn't really matter that she has gas. It's just a total delight to see her smile. On a face that tiny, the smile takes up most of the real estate, and I just want to kiss her little cheeks.
Of course, when she's not smiling, she's struggling with gas. Poor baby girl. You spend a lot of time worried about bodily functions with kids, I've realized, and watching her turn bright red in order to burp just breaks my heart. Her pediatrician visit is next week and while I'm fairly sure this is normal and not reflux, I'm going to make sure I talk with the ped about it to see if it is reflux, or if there's anything we can do to help. (I'm already feeding her while she's upright, burping her frequently and feeding smaller quantities at one time, keeping her upright after feedings-- all the stuff the intarwebs tell you to do.)
Tiny smiling babies shouldn't have to be in pain. I'm just sayin'.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Life with you
Taking care of a newborn is simultaneously one of the most fascinating and most boring things on the entire planet.
It's fascinating because she's this whole, complete, amazing little person who already has very definite opinions about a variety of high-level topics (window blinds, ceiling fans, blankets, diapers, etc.) and has her own unique personality. She makes hysterical noises when she's waking up (I swear she even barks sometimes), she hums while she's eating, she has the most gorgeous feet in the world, and she's started smiling randomly-- not really in response to specific things, but they're amazing smiles nonetheless.
So really, I could bore you for hours with stories of her fabulosity.
On the other hand, she's a newborn. Even though she's awake far more than most (who got the "sleeps up to 20 hours a day" newborn? Because IT WASN'T ME-- I'm lucky to get two naps from her a day! Which means no napping for me-- so much for "sleeping when the baby sleeps"), she's generally eating, staring at the above-mentioned window blinds/ceiling fan/other shiny object, or fussing because she has gas. As amazing and wonderful as she is, you do start looking around a bit during the fifth feeding of the day. You can only gaze at her beautiful, funny face for so long.
God bless Net.flix, is all I'm saying.
It's fascinating because she's this whole, complete, amazing little person who already has very definite opinions about a variety of high-level topics (window blinds, ceiling fans, blankets, diapers, etc.) and has her own unique personality. She makes hysterical noises when she's waking up (I swear she even barks sometimes), she hums while she's eating, she has the most gorgeous feet in the world, and she's started smiling randomly-- not really in response to specific things, but they're amazing smiles nonetheless.
So really, I could bore you for hours with stories of her fabulosity.
On the other hand, she's a newborn. Even though she's awake far more than most (who got the "sleeps up to 20 hours a day" newborn? Because IT WASN'T ME-- I'm lucky to get two naps from her a day! Which means no napping for me-- so much for "sleeping when the baby sleeps"), she's generally eating, staring at the above-mentioned window blinds/ceiling fan/other shiny object, or fussing because she has gas. As amazing and wonderful as she is, you do start looking around a bit during the fifth feeding of the day. You can only gaze at her beautiful, funny face for so long.
God bless Net.flix, is all I'm saying.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Eleven days old
My daughter is asleep in her pac.k and play. She's eleven days old, and each day is a new adventure.
She makes the funniest expressions-- her yawns are as big as her entire face, she looks extremely suspicious when she first starts eating (seriously, it's like she's thinking every time "What is this? What is this? I don't under... ah, there, I get it now..."), and she apparently finds the light in my dining room more compelling than just about anything on the planet.
She is eating up a storm (ten day growth spurt, perhaps?) and sleeping for at least a few consecutive hours each night; it's amazing what you can do if you're getting at least a little sleep. I'm br.east and bottle feeding; I'm just not producing enough, and she's hungry. (Any br.eastfeeding crusaders, please take your guilt trips somewhere else-- I'll do what I need to do to keep her fed. The lactati.on consultant at the hospital acted like formula was the Devil; I feel it's a necessary evil in some cases.)
She has incredibly long fingers and toes-- those are not from me, that's for sure-- and big eyes that haven't yet decided if they'll be brown or hazel. She also, unsurprisingly, has a full head of hair. That, she gets from me. ;)
She's a happy baby all day, but gets fussy in the evenings and there's not much you can do to make it better. If you want to visit, come midday (unless you don't mind a fussybudget baby)!
It's scary and fun and amazing, and she's wonderful. I'm a mom. It's a whole new world.
She makes the funniest expressions-- her yawns are as big as her entire face, she looks extremely suspicious when she first starts eating (seriously, it's like she's thinking every time "What is this? What is this? I don't under... ah, there, I get it now..."), and she apparently finds the light in my dining room more compelling than just about anything on the planet.
She is eating up a storm (ten day growth spurt, perhaps?) and sleeping for at least a few consecutive hours each night; it's amazing what you can do if you're getting at least a little sleep. I'm br.east and bottle feeding; I'm just not producing enough, and she's hungry. (Any br.eastfeeding crusaders, please take your guilt trips somewhere else-- I'll do what I need to do to keep her fed. The lactati.on consultant at the hospital acted like formula was the Devil; I feel it's a necessary evil in some cases.)
She has incredibly long fingers and toes-- those are not from me, that's for sure-- and big eyes that haven't yet decided if they'll be brown or hazel. She also, unsurprisingly, has a full head of hair. That, she gets from me. ;)
She's a happy baby all day, but gets fussy in the evenings and there's not much you can do to make it better. If you want to visit, come midday (unless you don't mind a fussybudget baby)!
It's scary and fun and amazing, and she's wonderful. I'm a mom. It's a whole new world.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Hey there
Guess what? There's a new baby in the house!
She's incredible-- happy, healthy, and beautiful. And, therefore, posting will be light here.
I'll try to pick up posting once my parents leave. (They're here to help. Mostly, they're doing so.)
She's incredible-- happy, healthy, and beautiful. And, therefore, posting will be light here.
I'll try to pick up posting once my parents leave. (They're here to help. Mostly, they're doing so.)
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Still here
A very, very quick post to say hello! Still here! Still pregnant! Unfortunately, also-- still no internet at home!
DSL think it's the landline, landline thinks it's the DSL. We'll see. I even have a backup meet-the-technician person scheduled, just in case I go into labor before the tech arrives.
Of course, I don't think that's going to happen. This baby is pretty darn comfortable, and I don't think she's going anywhere in the next few days.
If she does, at least the hospital has wifi, so I can post. :)
DSL think it's the landline, landline thinks it's the DSL. We'll see. I even have a backup meet-the-technician person scheduled, just in case I go into labor before the tech arrives.
Of course, I don't think that's going to happen. This baby is pretty darn comfortable, and I don't think she's going anywhere in the next few days.
If she does, at least the hospital has wifi, so I can post. :)
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Not-so-brilliant ideas
...trying to put together a pac.k and pl.ay at 10-something on a Saturday night, when you're tired and ready to go to bed.
(It's not the playpen part that's hard. It's the changing table attachment. The instructions could not possibly be less clear... especially to a tired pregnant woman who should have been heading up to bed. Oy.)
Left to do:
- get the glider in and set up (that's tomorrow, after work)
- hamper for the baby's room
- diaper pail or no diaper pail?
- install the car seat (I have it. Need to install it.)
I got all dressed for the gym today, and ended up just taking off my gym clothes and staying home. Anyone who wants to call me lazy, go right ahead. I'm 38 weeks tomorrow, and I think a little lazy is OK at this point.
(It's not the playpen part that's hard. It's the changing table attachment. The instructions could not possibly be less clear... especially to a tired pregnant woman who should have been heading up to bed. Oy.)
Left to do:
- get the glider in and set up (that's tomorrow, after work)
- hamper for the baby's room
- diaper pail or no diaper pail?
- install the car seat (I have it. Need to install it.)
I got all dressed for the gym today, and ended up just taking off my gym clothes and staying home. Anyone who wants to call me lazy, go right ahead. I'm 38 weeks tomorrow, and I think a little lazy is OK at this point.
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