An unexpected day off today (my sitter was sick) ended up being a (mostly) lovely day. We're having sunny beautiful weather here in the middle; if you['re going to have an unplanned day off, might as well be able to get out.
Someone didn't want a morning nap, so we headed out to the library story hour, which is followed by open play. It's geared towards babies up to 15 months, so it's a nice time, and there were clearly a lot of moms who knew each other. There were a few I recognized, too, which made me feel good.
(One is a woman I go to church with; her girls were baptized the same day as Elle. She never seems to recognize me, though we've met more than twice, and doesn't make eye contact. Since she seemed not to make eye contact with anyone there, I'll say it's because she's shy, not because she hates me. But she probably hates me. Heh.)
Finally got Elle settled in for an afternoon nap, and was able to sit in on a conference call for work. As the call was winding down, about an hour later, I started hearing noise out behind my place. Sawing, of some kind. A quick glance at the video monitor told me that Elle wasn't moving; thank goodness. She needed that nap. She's a good solid sleeper; some sawing isn't going to bug her.
Within a few minutes, any hope of the nap going longer than an hour was gone. Because they started using jackhammers. Literally right under Elle's window.
She woke up crying and disoriented, and I gave up hope on both the nap and on getting any more work done and got us the hell out of there. The noise was so loud that there just wasn't anywhere to go in my house to get away from it, so we escaped entirely.
Again, thank goodness for the beautiful day-- long walk, a bit of window shopping, playing in the park (oh, we love the swings, yes we do). Really lovely end-of-summer day, and Elle was remarkably sunny all the way to bedtime, given her sleep deficit. She was out within about two minutes of hitting her crib. My poor girl.
She'll probably sleep most of the day at her sitter's tomorrow!
This is such a great age for her. I want to freeze her here, but I don't. I just have to enjoy every minute as much as I can. One of the hardest things about parenting is being truly present when you're worried about other things (bills, taxes, what's for dinner).
That stuff doesn't matter, really. What matters is your little girl holding a book up to you with an expectant look on her face, and dropping whatever you're doing to read it to her. That's what's important.
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Monday, October 3, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Travel, not leisure
I was out of town on business last week. It was my first time away from Elle overnight, and I went two full days without seeing her; I left for the airport before she got up on day one, and I got home after she went to bed on day two. I had great support from friends on the front and back end, and she stayed overnight with her regular sitter.
For her, really, it probably didn't feel all that different. When I came into her room the morning after I got home, she was as happy to see me as she usually is in the morning-- no more, no less.
She is a happy, adaptable little thing, who is clearly secure in the fact that she's loved and well-cared-for. That's exactly what I want her to be, so I ignore the intermittent pangs that I would like her to be slightly more dramatically attached to me. That's just feeding my ego; that's not what's best for Elle.
At the end of the day, I'm her mom. And it's far more important that I raise a happy, social, well-adjusted child than it is to raise one that feeds some occasional need for validation.
**
While I was out of town, I was able to use the little hotel gym. It was decently set up, and featured my favorite exercise machine of all time: the elliptical.
I can't possibly explain how much I love the elliptical. I love it so much that I should be skinny and muscled. Sadly, I can no longer get to the Y (yes, they have childcare, but I leave Elle for 11+ hours each day; I'm not going to get her home and turn around and leave her with yet another sitter several times a week), and there's nowhere in my house that has high enough ceilings to accommodate an elliptical.
I did recently get a used exercise bike, and have been doing at least a few miles on that 4-5 times a week. This is significantly better than nothing at all, but not nearly as much fun as the dearly beloved elliptical. (And I'm watching season three of Slings and Arrows while I'm on the bike, a Canadian series that has not gotten nearly the attention it deserves. Highly recommended if you like theatre, Shakespeare, or Shakespeare and theatre.) So getting to exercise at the hotel was, believe it or not, a huge treat-- I even gave up additional sleep to go exercise that second morning, before I showered and checked out of the hotel.
It felt wonderful.
There are two questions I get, fairly often, as a single parent. One is if this is what I expected, or if it's easier or harder. The other (often from other single women) is asking what I miss about my single non-parent days.
I answer, honestly, that there's very little I miss. The two things do I miss are:
1. Being able to go to the gym
and
2. Being able to stay in my pajamas all day and sit on the couch and watch movies and be lazylazylazy.
That's not really much to miss, is it?
The nice part about it is that both those activities can return one day. Someday, Elle and I will do pajama days together (I hope we have the same taste in bad movies!). And someday, I'll get back to the gym on a regular basis.
Meanwhile, there’s plenty of other stuff to do.
For her, really, it probably didn't feel all that different. When I came into her room the morning after I got home, she was as happy to see me as she usually is in the morning-- no more, no less.
She is a happy, adaptable little thing, who is clearly secure in the fact that she's loved and well-cared-for. That's exactly what I want her to be, so I ignore the intermittent pangs that I would like her to be slightly more dramatically attached to me. That's just feeding my ego; that's not what's best for Elle.
At the end of the day, I'm her mom. And it's far more important that I raise a happy, social, well-adjusted child than it is to raise one that feeds some occasional need for validation.
**
While I was out of town, I was able to use the little hotel gym. It was decently set up, and featured my favorite exercise machine of all time: the elliptical.
I can't possibly explain how much I love the elliptical. I love it so much that I should be skinny and muscled. Sadly, I can no longer get to the Y (yes, they have childcare, but I leave Elle for 11+ hours each day; I'm not going to get her home and turn around and leave her with yet another sitter several times a week), and there's nowhere in my house that has high enough ceilings to accommodate an elliptical.
I did recently get a used exercise bike, and have been doing at least a few miles on that 4-5 times a week. This is significantly better than nothing at all, but not nearly as much fun as the dearly beloved elliptical. (And I'm watching season three of Slings and Arrows while I'm on the bike, a Canadian series that has not gotten nearly the attention it deserves. Highly recommended if you like theatre, Shakespeare, or Shakespeare and theatre.) So getting to exercise at the hotel was, believe it or not, a huge treat-- I even gave up additional sleep to go exercise that second morning, before I showered and checked out of the hotel.
It felt wonderful.
There are two questions I get, fairly often, as a single parent. One is if this is what I expected, or if it's easier or harder. The other (often from other single women) is asking what I miss about my single non-parent days.
I answer, honestly, that there's very little I miss. The two things do I miss are:
1. Being able to go to the gym
and
2. Being able to stay in my pajamas all day and sit on the couch and watch movies and be lazylazylazy.
That's not really much to miss, is it?
The nice part about it is that both those activities can return one day. Someday, Elle and I will do pajama days together (I hope we have the same taste in bad movies!). And someday, I'll get back to the gym on a regular basis.
Meanwhile, there’s plenty of other stuff to do.
Friday, April 8, 2011
I talked to a friend tonight and though we originally talked about some sad news, we ended up chatting about many other topics-- far more pleasant ones. When we hung up, I realized how nice it had been to talk to someone on the phone that didn't have to do with work.
I don't know about you, but most of my friends now communicate via e-mail and text. I see people live and in person all the time, but phone calls have become rarer and rarer. And by the time I get home, get Elle fed and bathed and put to bed, wash bottles, and have something to eat, I'm usually too tired to do anything but check e-mail, maybe watch something on the DVR and collapse into bed.
It was good to just talk to a friend.
***
Elle was very tired tonight. I have to remember that the week takes a lot out of her, just as it takes a lot out of me, and we need to make sure we do some recharging over the weekend. The coming weekend is very booked, and... I need to not do that.
Our little family needs to not be on the go every moment of every day.
I don't know about you, but most of my friends now communicate via e-mail and text. I see people live and in person all the time, but phone calls have become rarer and rarer. And by the time I get home, get Elle fed and bathed and put to bed, wash bottles, and have something to eat, I'm usually too tired to do anything but check e-mail, maybe watch something on the DVR and collapse into bed.
It was good to just talk to a friend.
***
Elle was very tired tonight. I have to remember that the week takes a lot out of her, just as it takes a lot out of me, and we need to make sure we do some recharging over the weekend. The coming weekend is very booked, and... I need to not do that.
Our little family needs to not be on the go every moment of every day.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Eight months
Elle is over eight months old now (eight months! wha?) and part of me wishes I could just freeze her right at this age, and keep her just as she is.
But by the time I'd finish wishing I could freeze her, she'd have moved onto something else. Seriously, it's that fast.
***
Did you know the Sou.th Park dudes wrote a musical about the Morm.ons? They did.
I can't make this stuff up.
***
Work has been intense. I've accepted a new role with the same company, and this month I'm doing my new job and my old job. I'm doing this in a situation where I have almost no flexibility, schedule-wise-- I'm already leaving Elle with the sitter for as long as the sitter's schedule allows, and by the time I get her to bed I have about an hour and a half to clean up, have something for dinner, think about what to wear the next day to work, and collapse. So at the moment, it's not like I have any time outside the eight-to-five to get these massive amounts of work accomplished.
Yeah, I'm whining. Sorry. I should probably suck it up and work until 10 or 11 at night and collapse into bed after that, but if I lose sleep, I get sick. I can't afford that.
Of course, I also can't afford to risk my job. It's never a good thing to lose a job, of course. But now I have this little apple-cheeked ball of curiosity dependent upon me, and-- I hate to say it-- there's a low level of terror that if I'm unemployed, she suffers.
That's possibly one of the hardest things about being a single parent, honestly. Unless I win the lottery (and I'd have to play to win, heh), there's always going to be that drumbeat in the back of my mind, that fear about What If.
But by the time I'd finish wishing I could freeze her, she'd have moved onto something else. Seriously, it's that fast.
***
Did you know the Sou.th Park dudes wrote a musical about the Morm.ons? They did.
I can't make this stuff up.
***
Work has been intense. I've accepted a new role with the same company, and this month I'm doing my new job and my old job. I'm doing this in a situation where I have almost no flexibility, schedule-wise-- I'm already leaving Elle with the sitter for as long as the sitter's schedule allows, and by the time I get her to bed I have about an hour and a half to clean up, have something for dinner, think about what to wear the next day to work, and collapse. So at the moment, it's not like I have any time outside the eight-to-five to get these massive amounts of work accomplished.
Yeah, I'm whining. Sorry. I should probably suck it up and work until 10 or 11 at night and collapse into bed after that, but if I lose sleep, I get sick. I can't afford that.
Of course, I also can't afford to risk my job. It's never a good thing to lose a job, of course. But now I have this little apple-cheeked ball of curiosity dependent upon me, and-- I hate to say it-- there's a low level of terror that if I'm unemployed, she suffers.
That's possibly one of the hardest things about being a single parent, honestly. Unless I win the lottery (and I'd have to play to win, heh), there's always going to be that drumbeat in the back of my mind, that fear about What If.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Giving Thanks
I head out tomorrow to visit family for the Turkey Day weekend. I've basically put my foot down and said that I will not travel at Christmas (sorry, not risking a potentially snowy, nasty drive with an infant); that's an unpopular decision, so going to visit for Thanksgiving is my olive branch.
It's a terrible time to take three days off work, but it is what it is. And Elle will enjoy a few days with people who dote on her. As will I.
It's been a hard year for many people I know. It's been a hard year for me, in many ways. It would be wrong, though, not to stop and give thanks at this time of year for my healthy, sassy daughter, who is doing something new every day. She's discovering rice cereal, is thisclose to rolling over, holds on to toys (and sticks them in her mouth), and is interested in everything going on around her. She's getting more hair, is chubby, and seems to get longer if I look away from her for a moment. She likes her babysitter, does not like naps, and responds very well to prune juice should it be necessary.
I am very thankful for her. And for my friends reading this, as well.
It's a terrible time to take three days off work, but it is what it is. And Elle will enjoy a few days with people who dote on her. As will I.
It's been a hard year for many people I know. It's been a hard year for me, in many ways. It would be wrong, though, not to stop and give thanks at this time of year for my healthy, sassy daughter, who is doing something new every day. She's discovering rice cereal, is thisclose to rolling over, holds on to toys (and sticks them in her mouth), and is interested in everything going on around her. She's getting more hair, is chubby, and seems to get longer if I look away from her for a moment. She likes her babysitter, does not like naps, and responds very well to prune juice should it be necessary.
I am very thankful for her. And for my friends reading this, as well.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Hairy issues
Postpartum hair loss: OY. I have always had TONS and TONS of hair, but now... I swear, where I part my hair, it looks like I’m going bald.
Doesn’t help that I need my hair colored, too, so you see the grey roots at the part. But SERIOUSLY. I know it'll stop and that I’m not likely to go bald or anything, but I'm not used to this thin hair crap. And I’m not happy about it.
No wonder my hair looked so good immediately post-baby; it was probably about twice as thick as it is now. Oh, well. I’d rather have thin hair (and my daughter) than still be pregnant.
Also, note to self: Self, you can’t continue eating like you’re brea.stfeeding. You’re not any more.
***
I was at a get-together of single moms this past weekend, and someone was asking me how it was going back to work. I admitted, honestly, that it hadn’t been as hard as I thought it would be. One of the other moms there nodded. "Yeah. Because work is way easier than taking care of a baby."
You know, she's right. I can't even tell you how much respect I have for stay at home moms now. For IT IS HARD. That doesn’t mean it’s not fun or rewarding, of course. But it’s hard, and I don’t think I could do it. I’m really glad to get home and see her, but when I get to work in the morning, I’m also happy to be there.
It helps that I like my work. I don't love my job, but it's the right job for me, right now, what with the new-single-momhood and all. I'm extremely lucky, because I've been at my job for a number of years and there's no question I have more flexibility because of the goodwill I've built up there.
Some women are wired to be home with their kids. I think I had Elle late enough in my life that I got wired differently.
But I sure do love coming home to her, and I'm glad I'm on a four-day week right now.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
The end, and a beginning
I'm in my last week of leave; I start back to work on Monday. I took Elle into the office this week to show her around, which was fun. It was a little surreal to sit in my office and feed her. Talk about worlds colliding.
It's amazing how quickly the twelve weeks have passed. The first six weeks or so truly were a blur, and I still feel like each day moves at lightning speed... yet crawls at the same time.
I have good day care for Elle, and I'm going back on a reduced schedule which will give me some flexibility. (Also, less money-- with my reduced schedule, unfortunately, comes reduced pay. We'll see how long I can afford it.) I'm very lucky on all counts. In addition, my workplace is being fabulously accommodating about just about everything-- it helps to have tenure, and to have both your bosses think you do good work.
Everyone's asking how I feel about going back to work. I'm probably not going to really know until I'm actually back at work. But honestly? I think I'm going to be OK. I don't think I'm cut out to stay home full time with an infant. I know many women are, and I think that's amazing.
But many of those women also have spouses/partners. I don't. So being at home is completely consuming, and there's no one to hand her off to. There is literally no time for anything but taking care of Elle, every day. And remember-- she doesn't nap. Hardly ever. The little bit of time I get when she's gone to sleep at night is mostly filled with washing bottles, making bottles for the next day, folding laundry... and when I'm back at work, I'll have to also do things like pack lunch, figure out what to wear, yadda yadda. (I steal time on the internet once she's in bed, but I should really be going to bed myself. Which I'm going to do as soon as I finish this post.)
The past week or so, she's been very hard to entertain-- she's been fussy and generally high-maintenance. Which is new, because other than her non-napping self, she's a really happy baby. I was telling a friend at lunch today that I think this personality change was designed to make it easy for me to put her in day care! (I actually think it's a combination of residual effects from the immuniz.ations she got last week-- poor baby-- and a three-month growth spurt.)
All of this combined makes me think that I am probably going to be a better mom to her when I'm back at work. And truly, I think she's going to love day care-- she's such a social little pumpkin that I think having other kids around is going to be the BEST THING EVER for her little self. It will give her the stimulation that you don't really get from a single parent/one child household.
And then we'll both come home and the time together will be that much more precious.
Along the lines of going back to work, I'm also taking the advice of some of the other single moms I know and making sure I have people (other than my amazing, amazing friends) in place so that I get some "me" time that's not work. The daughter of a friend is going to do some mother's helper type stuff for me occasionally-- just having her help with the baby so I can do things around the house is going to be incredibly helpful (and again, Elle will love it-- a new face!). I've put feelers out for a babysitter so that I don't have to automatically turn down every invitation I get that's not baby-appropriate. My tight budget means that babysitting will not be a frequent treat, but at least I'll have someone in line for whenever it is possible.
I'm sure there are those who will say I'm a bad parent because I'm not spending every single waking moment with my daughter-- and I don't want to spend every single waking moment with my daughter. They're entitled to their opinion, and I'm entitled to disagree.
What I want to do is to be the best possible mom for my daughter, and I firmly believe that I'll be a better mom if I have some balance to my life. It's all too easy as a single parent to let your child consume every single molecule of your existence; I'm already a ridiculously boring conversationalist because I want to talk about her all the time! So I need to make sure that I'm still Me, and not just Elle's Mom.
So yeah, I don't expect next week to be easy, and I'm going to miss that little face and her fantastic chubby cheeks. But... I think it's going to be OK.
I hope.
It's amazing how quickly the twelve weeks have passed. The first six weeks or so truly were a blur, and I still feel like each day moves at lightning speed... yet crawls at the same time.
I have good day care for Elle, and I'm going back on a reduced schedule which will give me some flexibility. (Also, less money-- with my reduced schedule, unfortunately, comes reduced pay. We'll see how long I can afford it.) I'm very lucky on all counts. In addition, my workplace is being fabulously accommodating about just about everything-- it helps to have tenure, and to have both your bosses think you do good work.
Everyone's asking how I feel about going back to work. I'm probably not going to really know until I'm actually back at work. But honestly? I think I'm going to be OK. I don't think I'm cut out to stay home full time with an infant. I know many women are, and I think that's amazing.
But many of those women also have spouses/partners. I don't. So being at home is completely consuming, and there's no one to hand her off to. There is literally no time for anything but taking care of Elle, every day. And remember-- she doesn't nap. Hardly ever. The little bit of time I get when she's gone to sleep at night is mostly filled with washing bottles, making bottles for the next day, folding laundry... and when I'm back at work, I'll have to also do things like pack lunch, figure out what to wear, yadda yadda. (I steal time on the internet once she's in bed, but I should really be going to bed myself. Which I'm going to do as soon as I finish this post.)
The past week or so, she's been very hard to entertain-- she's been fussy and generally high-maintenance. Which is new, because other than her non-napping self, she's a really happy baby. I was telling a friend at lunch today that I think this personality change was designed to make it easy for me to put her in day care! (I actually think it's a combination of residual effects from the immuniz.ations she got last week-- poor baby-- and a three-month growth spurt.)
All of this combined makes me think that I am probably going to be a better mom to her when I'm back at work. And truly, I think she's going to love day care-- she's such a social little pumpkin that I think having other kids around is going to be the BEST THING EVER for her little self. It will give her the stimulation that you don't really get from a single parent/one child household.
And then we'll both come home and the time together will be that much more precious.
Along the lines of going back to work, I'm also taking the advice of some of the other single moms I know and making sure I have people (other than my amazing, amazing friends) in place so that I get some "me" time that's not work. The daughter of a friend is going to do some mother's helper type stuff for me occasionally-- just having her help with the baby so I can do things around the house is going to be incredibly helpful (and again, Elle will love it-- a new face!). I've put feelers out for a babysitter so that I don't have to automatically turn down every invitation I get that's not baby-appropriate. My tight budget means that babysitting will not be a frequent treat, but at least I'll have someone in line for whenever it is possible.
I'm sure there are those who will say I'm a bad parent because I'm not spending every single waking moment with my daughter-- and I don't want to spend every single waking moment with my daughter. They're entitled to their opinion, and I'm entitled to disagree.
What I want to do is to be the best possible mom for my daughter, and I firmly believe that I'll be a better mom if I have some balance to my life. It's all too easy as a single parent to let your child consume every single molecule of your existence; I'm already a ridiculously boring conversationalist because I want to talk about her all the time! So I need to make sure that I'm still Me, and not just Elle's Mom.
So yeah, I don't expect next week to be easy, and I'm going to miss that little face and her fantastic chubby cheeks. But... I think it's going to be OK.
I hope.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Time flies
Seriously. My baby is eight weeks old already. When the heck did that happen? Really, when?
Elle's still not on much of a schedule, but is at least a little bit predictable-- to the point where I can do a bit of advance prep in terms of preparing bottles, or knowing about what time to head upstairs to start the going-to-bed routine. It helps.
When she's awake, she's almost always happy. I am so lucky. She likes going out and seeing the world (easier when it's not 0ver 90 degrees and humid), she likes new faces and people talking to her, and she likes light/windows/shiny things. She interacts with the ceiling fan in my bedroom-- coos and warbles and chirps, as if telling the ceiling fan how awesome he is. (What gender is a ceiling fan, anyway?) She doesn't quite yet see well enough to find mirrors fascinating, although they're definitely more interesting than they were even a week ago.
In other words, she's a pretty typical baby: just wants to be loved and interacted with. Oh, and fed on a very regular basis.
She's napping right now-- woke up early and hungry, snarfed down several ounces, and passed right out. My friend E-- who was my fabulous acupuncturist-- handed me down a rocker thingy (this one), and Elle is much more willing to nap in this than she is in her pac.k and play or her crib, so she's in that and I've had a chance to do some exciting things like start some laundry, wash a bottle... you know, that fun stuff.
E also gave me a ton of clothes and probably $100 worth of diapers that her daughter had grown out of. I'm reminded, again, of the generosity that's out there. Not just generosity of stuff (though diapers are so, so welcome), but generosity of spirit. It's scary being a single mother, and sometime I'll do a post about that. But the support and friendship and love I've gotten from everyone has been humbing and amazing. From the friend who comes over every Tuesday after work, just to help, to people who call to check in, to diapers...
It's hard and scary, especially in this economy, to be a single parent. But I think we'll be OK.
Someone's waking up (and sadly, it's not me) so I'm off. And truly off-- I'm headed out of town at the end of the week to visit family, so they can show Elle off. My plans include naps and getting some sun, since the grandparents will be more than happy to take Miss Elle and spoil her rotten. (And probably do a variety of things I'd rather they not do, including feeding her rice cereal; but that's another post.)
See you mid-September!
Elle's still not on much of a schedule, but is at least a little bit predictable-- to the point where I can do a bit of advance prep in terms of preparing bottles, or knowing about what time to head upstairs to start the going-to-bed routine. It helps.
When she's awake, she's almost always happy. I am so lucky. She likes going out and seeing the world (easier when it's not 0ver 90 degrees and humid), she likes new faces and people talking to her, and she likes light/windows/shiny things. She interacts with the ceiling fan in my bedroom-- coos and warbles and chirps, as if telling the ceiling fan how awesome he is. (What gender is a ceiling fan, anyway?) She doesn't quite yet see well enough to find mirrors fascinating, although they're definitely more interesting than they were even a week ago.
In other words, she's a pretty typical baby: just wants to be loved and interacted with. Oh, and fed on a very regular basis.
She's napping right now-- woke up early and hungry, snarfed down several ounces, and passed right out. My friend E-- who was my fabulous acupuncturist-- handed me down a rocker thingy (this one), and Elle is much more willing to nap in this than she is in her pac.k and play or her crib, so she's in that and I've had a chance to do some exciting things like start some laundry, wash a bottle... you know, that fun stuff.
E also gave me a ton of clothes and probably $100 worth of diapers that her daughter had grown out of. I'm reminded, again, of the generosity that's out there. Not just generosity of stuff (though diapers are so, so welcome), but generosity of spirit. It's scary being a single mother, and sometime I'll do a post about that. But the support and friendship and love I've gotten from everyone has been humbing and amazing. From the friend who comes over every Tuesday after work, just to help, to people who call to check in, to diapers...
It's hard and scary, especially in this economy, to be a single parent. But I think we'll be OK.
Someone's waking up (and sadly, it's not me) so I'm off. And truly off-- I'm headed out of town at the end of the week to visit family, so they can show Elle off. My plans include naps and getting some sun, since the grandparents will be more than happy to take Miss Elle and spoil her rotten. (And probably do a variety of things I'd rather they not do, including feeding her rice cereal; but that's another post.)
See you mid-September!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Blue
I had a really good morning, then this afternoon got hit with the blues. A big case of the blues.
I'm going to blame it on hormones-- I get to do that now-- but it wasn't just that. For some reason, I was really missing my little Vertigo Dog today. I can't believe she's been gone for ten months. I still come home, and part of me expects to see her face there, those fabulous ears up, tail wagging. There's nothing like coming home to the best dog in the world, and coming home without her there still feels all wrong.
I think it will feel wrong for a long time.
Then, at work, someone who I used to call a friend is leaving, and I had to do some of the stuff related to his departure. It was all perfectly cordial, but nothing more than that. This is someone I used to joke with, laugh with-- he was a work friend. I thought he was a good work friend.
I was wrong. Our friendship changed a long time ago, he decided I was something I'm not without ever talking to me about it, and now he's part of a group of people that simply don't like me. And we aren't friends any more.
This all happened a while ago, and I've been OK with it. Today, though, just brought a lot of it back, and made me sad again.
So while I'm blaming the hormones, it's not just that.
I think Jon St.ewart will cheer me up now.
I'm going to blame it on hormones-- I get to do that now-- but it wasn't just that. For some reason, I was really missing my little Vertigo Dog today. I can't believe she's been gone for ten months. I still come home, and part of me expects to see her face there, those fabulous ears up, tail wagging. There's nothing like coming home to the best dog in the world, and coming home without her there still feels all wrong.
I think it will feel wrong for a long time.
Then, at work, someone who I used to call a friend is leaving, and I had to do some of the stuff related to his departure. It was all perfectly cordial, but nothing more than that. This is someone I used to joke with, laugh with-- he was a work friend. I thought he was a good work friend.
I was wrong. Our friendship changed a long time ago, he decided I was something I'm not without ever talking to me about it, and now he's part of a group of people that simply don't like me. And we aren't friends any more.
This all happened a while ago, and I've been OK with it. Today, though, just brought a lot of it back, and made me sad again.
So while I'm blaming the hormones, it's not just that.
I think Jon St.ewart will cheer me up now.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Friday
I cannot tell you the last time I was so glad to get home on a Friday.
I celebrated by eating the other half of a turkey pastrami sandwich (left over from lunch) and falling asleep on the couch for half an hour. I know, you're jealous of all the excitement. And the sandwich even had avocado on it, thus meaning it was even more exciting!
(It was really a very good sandwich.)
It was a very intense week at work, with a big gathering that I was involved in planning. It all went off pretty well (and was even fun!), but it was a lot of work, and I just don't have the ability to be out until 10 p.m. right now without really feeling it. And I do feel it.
On the up side, I still made it to yoga. Yay for discipline, of a sort.
(In speaking of "discipline," we will not discuss the fries that originally came with the sandwich.)
***
Tomorrow is supposed to be sunny and in the 70s. I can't wait.
I celebrated by eating the other half of a turkey pastrami sandwich (left over from lunch) and falling asleep on the couch for half an hour. I know, you're jealous of all the excitement. And the sandwich even had avocado on it, thus meaning it was even more exciting!
(It was really a very good sandwich.)
It was a very intense week at work, with a big gathering that I was involved in planning. It all went off pretty well (and was even fun!), but it was a lot of work, and I just don't have the ability to be out until 10 p.m. right now without really feeling it. And I do feel it.
On the up side, I still made it to yoga. Yay for discipline, of a sort.
(In speaking of "discipline," we will not discuss the fries that originally came with the sandwich.)
***
Tomorrow is supposed to be sunny and in the 70s. I can't wait.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Permission to go to bed: granted
Note to self: it is all right to be tired when you've been traveling. It does not mean you're weak. It means you're tired, and heading upstairs to watch Burn Notice in bed is not a shameful thing. It's a luxury you should take advantage of while you can.
In other news, I don't know what the hell my neighbors are doing over there, but they're making a lot of noise doing it. ALL THE TIME.
In other news, I don't know what the hell my neighbors are doing over there, but they're making a lot of noise doing it. ALL THE TIME.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Coaching, shopping, and cheating
So much going on, as always!
This week I asked one of my two best friends, G, to be my birth coach. She enthusiastically accepted, which is a big load off my mind. Because of my due date, this means she can’t take one of her usual summer vacations, so it’s even nicer of her.
“There’s no one I’d rather have there,” I told her, and I meant it.
Additional bonus: my parents practically consider her their second daughter, and she’s really good with them. Given that they’re inevitably going to need to be “handled” during the whole L&D process, and I’m probably not going to have any ability to be subtle or polite, she’ll be invaluable.
(My other best friend lives an hour away, at least, and has two young kids. Just getting to the birthing classes would be a major chore for her.)
Placeholder for future post: “handling” my parents. And not during L&D: now.
We’ve got some issues. Or I do, anyway.
(Also, I have a lot of placeholders for future posts. Sorry ‘bout that.)
***
Updated note on shopping: THERE’S JUST SO MUCH TO BUY.
At lunch this week, when I brought up that I was just going to get a used bassinet from Cra*gslist if I couldn’t find a used one from among my friends, G sternly reminded me that I need to register, because people need stuff to buy.
“But I’m registering for everything!” I protested. And seriously, I am. There’s a crapload of gear, and even though I’m trying to be smart about things (hello, I don’t need two pa*ck and plays—my house is hardly big enough for one), there’s still a crapload of gear.
“People need stuff to buy for you,” she said again.
I get that, but part of me would rather register for what I really need. I mean, I’m going to get plenty of clothes regardless, and I’m going to make sure I register for stuff like onesies and sleeper gowns and receiving blankets and crib sheets and a baby monitor and all the basic essentials. But if there’s a piece of gear that seems superfluous—like a bassinet, which I can find used for $40 online (or hopefully can find for free)—wouldn’t it be better for people to put the money they might have spent on a bassinet on something else? I mean, the bassinet is used for a couple of months, tops. Why in the world do I need a new one?
Take that money and go in with someone (or several someones) and get me my overpriced but highly rated Brit*ax carseat for when the sproglet is over 25 pounds, thanks. That’ll be a bigger help.
Relative to Stuff, I’m having to resist crocheting baby gear, as I’ve been informed by numerous people that they’re covering those bases. Oh, well. Nothing wrong with crocheting for charity. (I cannot STAND to sit idle; if I’m watching a movie or TV, I have to do something else. Better crochet than munch.)
***
Prenatal yoga continues to be a fantastic oasis in my week. I am the laziest lazy person to ever exemplify lazy, and yet I can’t wait to get there.
Last week, the wife of someone I work with started class. She actually used to work with me as well. We were not close, for reasons I won’t go into here, and she has about four brain cells in her entire head. Sadly, I’m pretty sure that none of those brain cells are aware of the fact that her husband’s been messing around with someone else since well before she got pregnant. (Nice.)
Of course, I can’t bring myself to feel too sorry for her. She was messing around with her now-husband while he was still married to his first wife, and his first wife had a newborn at home.
I don’t know that I’ve ever seen a better poster child for “you reap what you sow.”
It’d all be hilarious if there weren’t children involved.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Catching up
First of all, congratulations to the Spohr family on their beautiful new daughter Annabel. I know there must be bittersweet moments, but they deserve every moment of their joy.
***
I feel like I have a lot of catching up to do. I get home from work most evenings and it pretty much sounds like this in my brain:
“DINNER! Oh, look, bills. What’s for dinner? OMG I need to change into stretchy pants and fuzzy socks right now, and then COOK DINNER. Perhaps laundry? AFTER DINNER. Oh, I want to check e-mail and blogs but that is going to have to wait until AFTER I EAT DINNER. I want a glass of wine, dammit. WITH MY DINNER.”
So you can see that you’re not going to get much in the way of thoughtful journal entries between 6:30 p.m. and bedtime. This entry is actually being started on my lunch hour, and as I am currently well-fed (tossed salad, orange, and a hummus/cucumber/red pepper sandwich on whole wheat bread), you may get a few compound sentences out of me.
***
I got an effusive thank you e-mail for mentioning someone's book on this blog. Um, I never mentioned that particular book. Sorry. Thanks for the note.
***
I'm 17 weeks pregnant today. So, you ask, how goes it?
- I still want sushi. All the time. And veggie sushi just doesn’t cut it. I swear, I’m going to be two days postpartum and I’m going to call the local sushi place like a junkie calling her dealer: “SPICY TUNA ROLL! NOW! I DON’T CARE WHAT IT COSTS YOU TO DELIVER TO MY HOUSE, I’LL PAY CASH! GET IT HERE NOW! WITH EXTRA GINGER!”
- Still no nausea. Thank you, whatever deity is watching over me.
- I really would like a drink. But not nearly as much as I want sushi.
- The first-trimester exhaustion is still hanging around, though it’s certainly not as debilitating as many people I’ve known. I’m lucky to last past Jon Ste*wart’s opening monologue these days; my new strategy is to be in bed, 100% ready for sleep, when it starts. Then I’m generally OK because I knock off immediately when he gets to the first commercial. Yeah, I know there’s a rerun, and I know I could get a Ti*vo or something. Whatever. Priorities.
- I’m still in my regular pants/skirts, but that’s probably going to change this week. The belly is no longer easily explained away—it’s not big, but it’s no longer the kind of belly you get when you’ve gained a few pounds from all those holiday cookies.. It’s… a small preggo belly. I’ve only gained about four pounds total, but every one of them is in my middle.
The last point above pretty much means that my nearly-incognito-at-work status is about to end. People know now, but only those I’ve told. Yeah, that’s about to go away.
***
I continue to be amazed at the love and generosity and support I’m getting from all quarters. I had lunch with a friend on Saturday, who brought with her a bag of maternity clothes. These were not my friend’s, but belonged to a friend of hers-- who I’ve never even met. This coming Saturday I pick up more clothes and assorted other stuff (sadly, not a bassinet as originally hoped for—still am looking for a loaner for that, since I refuse to buy something that’s only used for a few weeks) from a friend of a friend. I’ve at least met this person, but only a few times, and only briefly—but she’s pretty much offering everything to me that I want to take, without me even asking.
For both these women, their only request is that I pay it forward, and pass them on. Absolutely. Again, it’s amazing.
(Maternity clothes: ridiculously expensive, and you wear them for ten minutes. I am AOK with the hand-me-downs, thanks. I’ve bought a few things like yoga pants and some dresses on sale, and I’m sure I’ll need to supplement donations, particularly with pants for work and solid color t-shirts which are my staple since I’m a scarf-wearing chick. But seriously—renew, reuse, recyle.)
***
Placeholders for future posts, since lunch is long over and I need to earn my keep:
- Genetic testing (long-promised)
- The weird feelings about starting to be visibly pregnant as a single mom—I hesitate to use the word shame, but…
- How much I love my midwife, plus bonus musings on whether to hire a doula despite the fact that it’s not covered by insurance (short answer: yes)
- Freaking out about day care (availability, not the concept) long before I can do a damn thing about it
***
Last but not least: it’s a girl. :)
Saturday, January 9, 2010
I got the fever
I so look forward to weekends. This one was planned to the gills. Saturday: gym in the morning, Art Institute with friends in the afternoon, use evening to prep for dinner guests on Sunday, so I could spend time with dinner guests rather than cooking from scratch. Sunday: sing, gym, guests for dinner.
Revised plan: wake up at 3 a.m. Saturday morning with a brutal sore throat and a fever. Spend Saturday on the couch, alternately sleeping, messing around on the intarwebs, trying to drink lots of fluids, and reading. Cancel Sunday dinner guests.
Boo!
I'm currently unmedicated (and all I can take is acetaminophen anyway, darn it) and have only a minimal temp, so I'm hoping a good night's sleep tonight will knock the rest of the sick out. SO ANNOYING.
I also must admit I'm annoyed because I was really looking forward to having leftover chicken enchiladas and possibly leftover guacamole in the house. (Although the odds of guacamole being left over are never very good.) Company is such a good excuse to cook stuff I wouldn't normally make.
If I feel OK tomorrow, though, I'll probably modify the side dish recipe I was going to use (a black bean dish) into a rice and beans dish that I can use for various meals throughout the week.
But that's not as good as guacamole. Grr.
***
I've been telling more people about the pregnancy, now that I'm nearly 15 weeks and have cleared the genetic testing hurdle. (More on that in another post.) I told one of my two bosses on Friday, and he was just as great about it as I expected. Shocked as hell (and remember, I don't give a bunch of context; how this came about isn't something I offer up), but very positive and supportive. He gave me a big hug and he's about the least huggy person I know, so I was really touched.
I tell my other boss this week. I'm more worried about her. I don't know her; she came about through our recent acquisition. I don't trust her one bit, though she seems to like me and has said very positive things about me. She also fought to keep me, and keep me at a decent (albeit reduced) salary.
But I still don't trust her. I question myself on many things, but I do know when to listen to my gut. And my gut says she'd sell me out in a heartbeat.
One of my goals post-baby is to find another job, but I obviously need to take good care of this one for right now. I'll need to be careful, and I will. I've already started thinking about plans for covering my leave, and I have also been thinking about plans for managing my workload once I'm back from leave. A ways to go, yes, but it doesn't hurt to start planning now.
Revised plan: wake up at 3 a.m. Saturday morning with a brutal sore throat and a fever. Spend Saturday on the couch, alternately sleeping, messing around on the intarwebs, trying to drink lots of fluids, and reading. Cancel Sunday dinner guests.
Boo!
I'm currently unmedicated (and all I can take is acetaminophen anyway, darn it) and have only a minimal temp, so I'm hoping a good night's sleep tonight will knock the rest of the sick out. SO ANNOYING.
I also must admit I'm annoyed because I was really looking forward to having leftover chicken enchiladas and possibly leftover guacamole in the house. (Although the odds of guacamole being left over are never very good.) Company is such a good excuse to cook stuff I wouldn't normally make.
If I feel OK tomorrow, though, I'll probably modify the side dish recipe I was going to use (a black bean dish) into a rice and beans dish that I can use for various meals throughout the week.
But that's not as good as guacamole. Grr.
***
I've been telling more people about the pregnancy, now that I'm nearly 15 weeks and have cleared the genetic testing hurdle. (More on that in another post.) I told one of my two bosses on Friday, and he was just as great about it as I expected. Shocked as hell (and remember, I don't give a bunch of context; how this came about isn't something I offer up), but very positive and supportive. He gave me a big hug and he's about the least huggy person I know, so I was really touched.
I tell my other boss this week. I'm more worried about her. I don't know her; she came about through our recent acquisition. I don't trust her one bit, though she seems to like me and has said very positive things about me. She also fought to keep me, and keep me at a decent (albeit reduced) salary.
But I still don't trust her. I question myself on many things, but I do know when to listen to my gut. And my gut says she'd sell me out in a heartbeat.
One of my goals post-baby is to find another job, but I obviously need to take good care of this one for right now. I'll need to be careful, and I will. I've already started thinking about plans for covering my leave, and I have also been thinking about plans for managing my workload once I'm back from leave. A ways to go, yes, but it doesn't hurt to start planning now.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Slackerdom
I kind of played hooky from work today-- not totally, because I worked from home a fair bit. But I didn't go in, so that's hooky.
The Big Firm that bought us is changing how we get time off, and today was a little bit of petulant "nyah nyah, I've got three more weeks to use the sick days you're taking away from me," and a little bit of "I'm tired, dammit."
(I find "food poisoning" to be a fine excuse to stay home. You can't claim a cold, after all; you would still have the remnants of that in a couple of days. Headaches are good. Fevers are touchy. Food poisoning? Excellent.)
It was a good slacker day. I slept in, got up and did (work) e-mail, went to Tar.get, came home and did a conference call, met up with a friend and went to Cost.co, then came home and did more e-mail.
Hey. It's not exciting, but it's life. And I love Cost.co. It's my happy place. Also, I ended up spending $40 and the friend I took ended up spending several times that. Ha! I am a Cost.co pimp-- and proud of it.
The Big Firm that bought us is changing how we get time off, and today was a little bit of petulant "nyah nyah, I've got three more weeks to use the sick days you're taking away from me," and a little bit of "I'm tired, dammit."
(I find "food poisoning" to be a fine excuse to stay home. You can't claim a cold, after all; you would still have the remnants of that in a couple of days. Headaches are good. Fevers are touchy. Food poisoning? Excellent.)
It was a good slacker day. I slept in, got up and did (work) e-mail, went to Tar.get, came home and did a conference call, met up with a friend and went to Cost.co, then came home and did more e-mail.
Hey. It's not exciting, but it's life. And I love Cost.co. It's my happy place. Also, I ended up spending $40 and the friend I took ended up spending several times that. Ha! I am a Cost.co pimp-- and proud of it.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
When does the grass get greener?
I keep thinking that work is going to get better. We "merged" (in other words, we were bought) earlier this year, and much of this fall has been spent wrangling with new policies, new people, aligning our support with their expectations, and trying very hard not to smack anyone upside the head. (That last one may just be me.)
I had to let a friend go today as part of the ongoing staff reductions. In my job, this happens. It happens more than I'd like. But afterwards, I felt like a balloon with all the air let out of it-- limp, drab, exhausted. At a loss for words.
I guess I felt just a little heartbroken: that this is what it's come to at this funny, quirky, sometimes frustrating, always interesting little company I worked for, that's now part of a larger organization: it's only about the numbers.
I know that's business. I know that's how it is. And it's good that I remember it, if only to protect myself. But it still hurts.
I went into my (former) boss's office afterwards and just sat down. "I need a break," I told him. "We just talked to D, and I can't be in my office right now." And he took one look at me and brought up another, less wretched topic, and for five minutes I didn't think about it. It was nice. He's a really good guy, and we take care of each other, I think. I'm lucky in that.
Earlier in the week, I was told by the purchasing organization they love me, they really want me to stay, they think I'm critical to the success of the region, that they want to work with me to make sure I'm in a role I enjoy and find challenging... and they're giving me more than a 10% pay cut so I'm aligned with the rest of the organization.
It wasn't a surprise. But it was still demoralizing.
** **
My best friend's mother passed away unexpectedly last week, so one night this week I made the trek down to the funeral home to pay my respects. I've known Friend and her mom for over 25 years; I'm godmother to Friend's daughter. I probably knew almost as many people at the funeral home as the family did.
Family isn't just blood. Thank goodness.
I'm worried about Friend. She was holding up beautifully, but her relationship with her mother was never smooth, and had been especially rough recently. Losing someone when you have unresolved issues is not easy. Ever. And as wonderful as Friend's husband is (and he is), a woman's relationship with her mother is something only other women can really understand.
I'm going down to help clear out the house soon-- possibly this weekend, but more likely after Thanksgiving-- and I need to make sure I keep in extra close touch with her. When she needs to talk, I will be there.
** **
Tomorrow night, a (different) friend is practicing cooking for me, and I'm crashing at her place so we can watch the deleted scenes/outtakes of a particular movie that I shall not admit to here for fear of outing myself as a complete and total geek.
If I wasn't knocked up, there would be serious drinking. As it is, I'm just hoping I stay awake long enough to not be insulting. (It just hit 10 p.m. here and I'm amazed I'm still upright. Pathetic.)
Have good weekends, all.
I had to let a friend go today as part of the ongoing staff reductions. In my job, this happens. It happens more than I'd like. But afterwards, I felt like a balloon with all the air let out of it-- limp, drab, exhausted. At a loss for words.
I guess I felt just a little heartbroken: that this is what it's come to at this funny, quirky, sometimes frustrating, always interesting little company I worked for, that's now part of a larger organization: it's only about the numbers.
I know that's business. I know that's how it is. And it's good that I remember it, if only to protect myself. But it still hurts.
I went into my (former) boss's office afterwards and just sat down. "I need a break," I told him. "We just talked to D, and I can't be in my office right now." And he took one look at me and brought up another, less wretched topic, and for five minutes I didn't think about it. It was nice. He's a really good guy, and we take care of each other, I think. I'm lucky in that.
Earlier in the week, I was told by the purchasing organization they love me, they really want me to stay, they think I'm critical to the success of the region, that they want to work with me to make sure I'm in a role I enjoy and find challenging... and they're giving me more than a 10% pay cut so I'm aligned with the rest of the organization.
It wasn't a surprise. But it was still demoralizing.
** **
My best friend's mother passed away unexpectedly last week, so one night this week I made the trek down to the funeral home to pay my respects. I've known Friend and her mom for over 25 years; I'm godmother to Friend's daughter. I probably knew almost as many people at the funeral home as the family did.
Family isn't just blood. Thank goodness.
I'm worried about Friend. She was holding up beautifully, but her relationship with her mother was never smooth, and had been especially rough recently. Losing someone when you have unresolved issues is not easy. Ever. And as wonderful as Friend's husband is (and he is), a woman's relationship with her mother is something only other women can really understand.
I'm going down to help clear out the house soon-- possibly this weekend, but more likely after Thanksgiving-- and I need to make sure I keep in extra close touch with her. When she needs to talk, I will be there.
** **
Tomorrow night, a (different) friend is practicing cooking for me, and I'm crashing at her place so we can watch the deleted scenes/outtakes of a particular movie that I shall not admit to here for fear of outing myself as a complete and total geek.
If I wasn't knocked up, there would be serious drinking. As it is, I'm just hoping I stay awake long enough to not be insulting. (It just hit 10 p.m. here and I'm amazed I'm still upright. Pathetic.)
Have good weekends, all.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
(Anti)social media
I have a Face.book account. (Like everyone on the planet, apparently.) I post rarely, though I read it a few times a week. Overall, it's been a fun way to reconnect with people I haven't talked to in years. (I could argue that calling those people "friends" is weird, given that I haven't talked to them in years, but that's for another time.)
Most of the people I'm friends with fall into the following categories:
Dude, I'm not going to friend you. You are not my friend, in any sense of the word.
I know many people use various forms of social networking for work purposes. That's fine-- but that's why I'm on Linked.In, not Face.book. I do occasionally post personal stuff on the FB, and there's no way in heck I'm going to give a work vendor access to that stuff.
Public. Private. There's a difference.
The nice part about FB is that I can "ignore" his request. And if he ever asks me straight out why I didn't accept the request, I'll be honest: FB is for my personal life, and my work and personal lives do not mix on a regular basis.
Sometimes I think it would be easier to have a pseudonymn, so I wasn't findable to the general public. Something dramatic and mysterious, perhaps. Hm.
Most of the people I'm friends with fall into the following categories:
- People I am friends with, right now
- People I went to school with (college, high school, middle school) that I'd lost touch with
- People I work with or have worked with in the past; primarily people I trust more than I trust the average person I work/worked with
Dude, I'm not going to friend you. You are not my friend, in any sense of the word.
I know many people use various forms of social networking for work purposes. That's fine-- but that's why I'm on Linked.In, not Face.book. I do occasionally post personal stuff on the FB, and there's no way in heck I'm going to give a work vendor access to that stuff.
Public. Private. There's a difference.
The nice part about FB is that I can "ignore" his request. And if he ever asks me straight out why I didn't accept the request, I'll be honest: FB is for my personal life, and my work and personal lives do not mix on a regular basis.
Sometimes I think it would be easier to have a pseudonymn, so I wasn't findable to the general public. Something dramatic and mysterious, perhaps. Hm.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Thursday is transfer day
So: transfer is tomorrow. I really wish they could have held on until Saturday, for a five day transfer rather than a three day transfer, but it is what it is.
I don't know how many embryos will be transferred. I suspect not all four will be of good quality; I guess I'll find out in the morning.
** **
With transfer tomorrow, they want two days of bed rest. There's really no proof that it helps, but I figure it can't hurt.
An unexpected Thursday/Friday off from work, with no notice and with all kinds of people in town from the company that bought us, is not an easy thing to explain.
I had to manufacture a "family emergency." I really hate doing that, but there wasn't any alternative. It was a pretty believable falsehood, too-- I'm disappointed about the transfer being tomorrow rather than Saturday, so I'm already a little upset. And, to be honest, in the three months since I lost my little Vertigo Dog, tears are never very far from the surface.
And it is kind of a family emergency. It's my family. Or could be.
I'm taking vacation, so I'm not cheating or anything. I just feel bad that I'm not there during what's been one of the busiest weeks I've had in a long time. I should be able to work from home for part of the time, too, so that's good.
** **
I have acupuncture before and after the transfer. My wonderful acupuncturist is dragging herself out of bed at a hideous hour to meet me at 7 a.m.. Seriously, I love her like pie.
** **
I'm watching an American Experience about Joan Ba.ez. Dang, she looks gorgeous. I hope I age half as well as she has.
I don't know how many embryos will be transferred. I suspect not all four will be of good quality; I guess I'll find out in the morning.
** **
With transfer tomorrow, they want two days of bed rest. There's really no proof that it helps, but I figure it can't hurt.
An unexpected Thursday/Friday off from work, with no notice and with all kinds of people in town from the company that bought us, is not an easy thing to explain.
I had to manufacture a "family emergency." I really hate doing that, but there wasn't any alternative. It was a pretty believable falsehood, too-- I'm disappointed about the transfer being tomorrow rather than Saturday, so I'm already a little upset. And, to be honest, in the three months since I lost my little Vertigo Dog, tears are never very far from the surface.
And it is kind of a family emergency. It's my family. Or could be.
I'm taking vacation, so I'm not cheating or anything. I just feel bad that I'm not there during what's been one of the busiest weeks I've had in a long time. I should be able to work from home for part of the time, too, so that's good.
** **
I have acupuncture before and after the transfer. My wonderful acupuncturist is dragging herself out of bed at a hideous hour to meet me at 7 a.m.. Seriously, I love her like pie.
** **
I'm watching an American Experience about Joan Ba.ez. Dang, she looks gorgeous. I hope I age half as well as she has.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
It's a grab-bag roundup
Had a nice weekend with family in town. They ended up leaving early, actually, which was OK-- it wasn't for bad reasons. They were being considerate, mostly, given they know my horrific schedule this week, and they saw me working at home both Friday and Saturday nights. (They're also not entirely comfortable in my house, but that's more because of their personalities than it is anything else, so I try not to worry about it. Much.)
So I had an unexpected, free Sunday afternoon, and it was much appreciated. Of course, "free" included going in to work, so.
** **
Early last week I attended volunteer orientation for the local animal shelter, and today-- in between work, Tar.get, and a quick trip to the gym-- I squeezed in my first trip over. It was excellent, excellent therapy, even though I couldn't stay long.
I walked a stocky, older little Shih Tzu mix who was absolutely delighted to get out, but who tired early on; we ended up taking our sweet time on the second half of the walk. At one point, she found something yummy in the grass, and her ecstatic back-rubbing roll was so reminiscent of my Vertigo Dog that I got tears in my eyes. It was worth it, though.
** **
I have a week coming up at work that is going to be incredibly, incredibly difficult on a personal level. My job involves doing some things that are extremely difficult; sometimes, they're painful. This is that kind of a week. And, while I can feel sorry for myself all I want, my angst is not the point this week. Not at all.
I'm also going to have to travel with all my fertility drugs, two of which have to be kept cold. I can't wait to deal with airport screening on that one. Plus, you know, injecting myself while in the airport bathroom stall. Oh, yeah.
** **
Speaking of drugs, I promised to post a picture of the big stack o'drugs.
Impressive, hm?
I started shots today. It's surprisingly easy and painless. But I suspect it will be a little less easy in an airport bathroom stall.
Whine, whine.
Tell me something happy?
So I had an unexpected, free Sunday afternoon, and it was much appreciated. Of course, "free" included going in to work, so.
** **
Early last week I attended volunteer orientation for the local animal shelter, and today-- in between work, Tar.get, and a quick trip to the gym-- I squeezed in my first trip over. It was excellent, excellent therapy, even though I couldn't stay long.
I walked a stocky, older little Shih Tzu mix who was absolutely delighted to get out, but who tired early on; we ended up taking our sweet time on the second half of the walk. At one point, she found something yummy in the grass, and her ecstatic back-rubbing roll was so reminiscent of my Vertigo Dog that I got tears in my eyes. It was worth it, though.
** **
I have a week coming up at work that is going to be incredibly, incredibly difficult on a personal level. My job involves doing some things that are extremely difficult; sometimes, they're painful. This is that kind of a week. And, while I can feel sorry for myself all I want, my angst is not the point this week. Not at all.
I'm also going to have to travel with all my fertility drugs, two of which have to be kept cold. I can't wait to deal with airport screening on that one. Plus, you know, injecting myself while in the airport bathroom stall. Oh, yeah.
** **
Speaking of drugs, I promised to post a picture of the big stack o'drugs.
 |
| From ...plus one |
Impressive, hm?
I started shots today. It's surprisingly easy and painless. But I suspect it will be a little less easy in an airport bathroom stall.
Whine, whine.
Tell me something happy?
Friday, September 18, 2009
A letter with no love
Dear dude getting off the train with me:
As we go down the stairs together, in a herd of people on their way to work, I understand that sometimes one gets the urge to spit. (Actually, I don't really understand it, but work with me here.) Sometimes, the spit must out.
But really-- does it need to come out on the stairs? When you're not the only one descending said stairs? The spit can't wait another thirty seconds until you're down at street level, where there's a convenient road, and thus a convenient gutter, waiting for your precious saliva?
Next time, wait. Please. Those of us who follow you will appreciate it. As will our shoes.
No love,
Me
** **
I'm finally making my way through the premade curries I bought a while ago. Two very big thumbs up for the micro curries by Raja Foods. I love Indian food, but for 99 cents, why go to all the trouble of making it myself if I don't have to? One package makes two sides, and there's enough sauce that you can use it as a base for other things (i.e. more veggies, or some cooked chicken, or whatever).
Mmm.
** **
Work was brutal this week. We're going through a merger... which is not a merger at all. They're buying us, and all the platitudes about "taking the best from both organizations" and "learning from each other" were just that: platitudes. They could care less.
They are also an organization where overtime is worn as a badge of honor.
Been there, done that, and I'm not doing it again.
As we go down the stairs together, in a herd of people on their way to work, I understand that sometimes one gets the urge to spit. (Actually, I don't really understand it, but work with me here.) Sometimes, the spit must out.
But really-- does it need to come out on the stairs? When you're not the only one descending said stairs? The spit can't wait another thirty seconds until you're down at street level, where there's a convenient road, and thus a convenient gutter, waiting for your precious saliva?
Next time, wait. Please. Those of us who follow you will appreciate it. As will our shoes.
No love,
Me
** **
I'm finally making my way through the premade curries I bought a while ago. Two very big thumbs up for the micro curries by Raja Foods. I love Indian food, but for 99 cents, why go to all the trouble of making it myself if I don't have to? One package makes two sides, and there's enough sauce that you can use it as a base for other things (i.e. more veggies, or some cooked chicken, or whatever).
Mmm.
** **
Work was brutal this week. We're going through a merger... which is not a merger at all. They're buying us, and all the platitudes about "taking the best from both organizations" and "learning from each other" were just that: platitudes. They could care less.
They are also an organization where overtime is worn as a badge of honor.
Been there, done that, and I'm not doing it again.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)