Thursday, July 30, 2009


I realized this past weekend that my mother is possibly obsessed with my selection of a sp*erm donor. I don't know this for sure, of course, but the fact that she brings it up in almost every conversation we have, in one way or another, is a pretty good indication.

She hasn't (surprisingly) asked a lot of details; she was comforted that you can sort for things like height and eye color, and that seems to be more or less enough information for her. She's just very, very interested in when I'm going to select someone.

Now, I won't lie. I've played around online, sorting and selecting and reading whatever free information is available. But there's just no sense in doing anything else (and certainly no point in putting up money) until I know if everything is OK from the hysteroscopy. The earliest I'll know that is about a week and a half into my next cycle, and that's a couple of weeks away. (I'll need another saline ultrasound. OH HAPPY JOY.)

When I go for that, I'll ask for information on timing and all that stuff, and then I'll get serious.

Oh, and if you're interested: my base criteria are:
  1. Tall (counteract my short genes)
  2. Compatible blood type
  3. A bit on the skinny side (again with the counteracting)
  4. Medium complexion (match up with me)
  5. Straight or just wavy hair (give the child a chance!)
  6. A medical history that doesn't make me cringe
You're almost guaranteed that the donor has a college education, no learning disabilities, and a reasonable GPA; they do good screening on that. And I'd like a donor who's athletic (since I'm very decidedly not) and musical. I'm not sure you can really test for a sense of humor, but that would be nice too.

::shrug:: So much is nurture, not nature, but you want to give the kid whatever advantages you can.

Relative to anonymity, or a donor that they can find when they reach a certain age? I'm not 100% on either side. There are far, far more available anonymous donors, so that may end up deciding the issue for me. But I'm leaning towards an identifiable donor. I know so many adopted people that can't find one or both of their birth parents, and it's a gaping hole for many of them. I don't know that I want to do that to my child, should I have one.

** **

I actually went to the gym tonight. Since being at home, these days, means missing my little Vertigo Dog and feeling like my house isn't a home at all, I'm trying to find ways to stay out of the house. The gym is a good, healthy alternative.

I made it to the gym partly because I'm extra sad today, and knew the exercise would help. A good friend left today to move south. I'm so excited for her, and I know perfectly well we'll keep in touch, but her departure is just something else that I need to work through. My issues, let me show you them.

I feel it's time for popcorn now.


zimachitika said...

:) of course we'll keep in touch (i'm assuming you didn't have two friends leave for the south). right now it just feels like i'm on vacation... wonder when the shock of being gone will set in. then i'll really miss you :(

J said...

Oh, you're not going to have time to miss me! You're going to be having way too much fun. And you deserve it.