A long week

Spent a lovely evening with a friend, playing with her adorable baby, eating Thai food, and catching up on gossip. It was a nice end to a long day.

The day started with saline ultrasound #2, to follow up on the hysteroscopy. FYI, the second SU was no more fun than the first. ::sigh::

On the plus side, they're going to document exactly what they did that finally worked. If they need to do one again, they can go straight to a working solution rather than having me legs-up for 25 minutes.

And that's all I'll say on that, much to everyone's relief.

My doctor's out until next week. I go out of town next Wednesday night, so I'm a little antsy; at my age, every cycle I miss is a problem. If I am going to go straight to IVF, though, I should be able to at least start the medication protocol fairly soon and could potentially have an IVF cycle as soon as September. Hey, if I'm going to lose my coverage, start now-- I will probably only be able to get 1, possibly 2 cycles in before I lose my coverage, so I should do it while I can.

A couple of other things I've made decisions on:

• Timeline. I'm going to be as aggressive as I can on IVF this calendar year, while it's still covered. As of 1/1, I can still do IUI (assuming my new insurance company isn't a bunch of arseholes about me being single, which is entirely possible), so given that the IVF probably won't work, I'll start right up with the IUI when 1/1 rolls around.
  
  If nothing's caught-- so to speak-- by spring, I'm done and move to adoption. My odds decrease enormously each and every month. If it hasn't worked by then, the odds are overwhelmingly that it isn't going to work at all, and it's time to move on. I'll have given this a good shot, I will know I did my best, and I will move on before I am physically and financially in a bad position.
  
  
• Donor: I've decided to go with a donor who's willing to be identifiable, and contacted after the child reaches a certain age. Of course, this all will probably be moot when I don't get pregnant. But if I do, I've decided this is the right route for me.
  
  I can't possibly judge anyone else for their decision on this-- it's incredibly personal. For me, though, I feel strongly that this is a choice I can give my child. He or she may never have any interest in contact with their donor; after all, the donor will be just that; they won't be a dad, just a donor. But if my theoretical child does want contact, and I've chosen an anonymous donor, then I've taken that choice away from him/her, leaving them no recourse. I can't do that.
  
  I feel so passionately about choice. This is a choice I have absolute power over, and I choose to leave things as open as I can.