Thursday, September 10, 2009

Low is bad, in this case

I called to get my day three FSH. My FSH was extremely low (2). First time I was tested, it was 7-something; normal is under 10, and low is good. So on the surface, a low FSH sounds positive-- but it's not.

Because unfortunately, while my FSH was very low, my estrogen was very high (192). This is a symptom of perimenopause, and almost certainly indicates that I have low ovarian reserve. Not sure why this didn't show up before now; they must not have tested my estrogen in my initial blood testing? I thought I'd had day three bloodwork before, but I could be wrong.

In other words, my chances of conceiving are "severely limited," and if I do, my chances of miscarriage are high. My odds were already terrible. They're several times more terrible now.

Well, I knew this was a long shot.

I'm still giving it a try, of course, but it looks like I'll end up moving to adoption sooner than I'd thought. With results like that, I can't imagine they'll recommend more than one or two IVF cycles at the very most. There's little point in IUI cycles, really. (And I'm not interested in donor eggs.)

I am pretty sad about this. Yes, my primary motivation here is being a mother-- not producing a child. I will love my child, whether adopted or born, and that's never been even the smallest of questions. I do not really care which road I take to get to motherhood.

It's still sobering, though, to find out your body can't do what you want it to do.

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